He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
