Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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