Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
