why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
