the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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