so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
