i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
