you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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