I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
