Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
