Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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