and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
