Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My bed smells like the plague
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
