Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
