i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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