You made me cry and you don't even care
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
