my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
