At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
