We're facebook friends in real life
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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