help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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