take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you didnt know i had herpes?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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