I'm eating all of the evidence.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
