I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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