I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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