shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
