ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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