Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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