Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
