at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
