All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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