i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
