her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
