She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
