Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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