i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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