Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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