did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
