'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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