I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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