Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
