You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
