I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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