We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
