Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
