My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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