some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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