Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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