Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
