I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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