mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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