I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
