I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
