We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
