Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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